Y - Yearning #AtoZChallenge

Of all friendships, the ones at college are the best. These friends are the ones who truly know you and accept you. Of all the friends I have, this one particular friend Yashita is special. She understood me, always. Since the first day of the college, our opinions have always matched. She liked things the same way I did. I thought it was a coincidence in the beginning. However, too many of them made me believe that it meant more. I proposed to her after the final exams. She rejected me right away.

‘Maybe our opinions match a lot. Maybe you are the perfect match for me. Maybe we could make it work. But I don’t feel the same love for you, which you claim towards me. Are you willing to be with a who is perfect for you, except she doesn’t love you? I don’t think this is love. You love the feeling of being in love with me. We still are friends, but nothing more.’

I backed off then.  I was glad she didn't break our friendship. She stayed my friend but sometimes behaved like I meant more. She had earlier said that I was the best match, which means I just have to prove to her that she loves me. Once she realises that we could be the best couple in the college. Till that plan works out, I was willing to be her acting boyfriend, a boyfriend with the tag of a friend.

Things were working fine, she trusts me the most and that’s when she met my sister. They became good friends, and I assumed that would mean my love story would get a happy ending. Nothing that sort happened. My sister ruined it all. They spent a lot of time together, the time we used to spent together earlier. They also became best buddies very soon and planned a trekking trip. With my sister becoming her best friend, I became just a friend. I wasn’t the acting boyfriend anymore. I was her best friends brother.

‘She's my sister, she wouldn't mind. I can join you, if you want me to. You know I love trekking, right?’

‘No you don’t.We are going because this has been on my bucket list since long and she loves adventures. Also, it is a girls only program. Thanks for offering, but it's already planned perfectly. Sorry.’

When they returned I hoped she'd give me some sign that she still cares about me. I got nothing. I decided to propose again. She rejected again.

‘Then I can't be your friend anymore. Goodbye.’

I said that and went away. I truly meant what I had said. If there was no point of the friendship extending into love, I didn’t want to betray her anymore with my love in the guise of friendship. It would hurt to leave, but staying would hurt more. So I gave up my love. Then when I finally let her go, she came back to me.

‘Why now when I gave up? What happened to your feelings all this time?’

‘Your constant presence didn’t make me realise my love for you. But your absence did. Could you forgive me?’

I wanted to do that but I couldn’t do that easily. I wanted to feel loved, not just missed. I wanted to scream no. But then, I said yes. She did realise it and I didn't want it all to go for the sake of my ego. I was Ok with this. So my sister did bring us together. Maybe this is her way of loving. Don’t people show their love in different ways?