V - Value Education #AtoZChallenge

For any relation to work, at least one person involved has to adjust. Twenty years ago, I would’ve laughed, if I was told that I would sacrifice my career for the sake of my family one day. Now I don't know what to expect from myself. What I knew about me, has been constantly changing with time. Maybe I am capable of more than what I believed so far.

My husband and me, we both are expected to get a promotion at the same time. If we did, then relocation for a year or so would be mandatory. If both would stay out of the city, then Varun, my son, would be alone at home or join a hostel, for which I don't think he is prepared yet. I didn’t want all my sacrifices till then to go in vain. Also, I didn’t want to sacrifice anymore, so I knew what was the best way to deal with this situation. I couldn't discuss this issue with my husband so I had no option but to slightly sabotage his attempts and that would ensure everything would be fine for everyone, slowly. Also, I wouldn't be blamed for abandoning my family instead of understanding and sacrificing again.

I slightly modified a few important slides in his presentation, which would play a deciding factor in his promotion. While I was in the act of forever ruining my marriage if found out. Varun suddenly came into the room and rambled act of forever ruining my marriage if found out, Varun suddenly came into the room and rambled about his career goals. I told him that wasn’t the right time, as I was busy then. He asked if we could do it the next day, I agreed.

The presentation was postponed because of some error in the file, which my husband was sure was alright until the previous evening. Our son wanted to say something important then but we shifted that to the evening. He gave me a weird look, like it would be bad news for me. It looks like he thought that I was selfish because this one time I tried to prioritise my career over family. I remember lecturing Varun for hours, when he stole an extra cookie or lied about homework. I always thought that I was above the rules I made. Maybe I wasn't.

That evening, he handed an envelope to my husband and sat silently in a corner. He passed it to me after reading it. My son got a scholarship and was going to a school in another state. He would be staying in the hostel there. He wanted to surprise us and that's what he tried to say the previous day. So he’d be going to stay in a hostel and my career choices wouldn’t be a problem anymore. I was relieved then, but the guilt till then made me hate myself. I thought I wouldn’t be feeling bad because that wasn’t the worst thing I ever did. But guilt works in weird ways.